Myrnin, how could you?
by BadWolfReborn
Summary: Myrnin's POV of his and Claire's hallway argument in Black Dawn. Features Draug, Claire and unrequited love. One-Shot.


_**P.S Apologies if the dialouge is slightly different to what happened in the book, as I don't have it on me at this moment in time. It'll be mostly the sme, but a few words might be slightly vried *sadface***_

_**Also, the characters and storyline belong to Rachel Caine. I am simply a slave to my Myrnin-tinted galsses. *insert sounds of my breaking heart.***_

**Myrnin, how could you?**

Bunnie slippers bobbing and lab coat flapping, walking down the hall, lost in thought, I barely noticed where I was approaching, nevermind who was nearby. Only one thought occupied my mind.

I cant believe I had lost Claire. Again.

All I had done was try to save her from the destruction that the Draug spread, and took her from where Shane would have been dying, as he would have died if Claire hadn't have risked her life to save him- Again! Thats all she ever seems to do, risk her life continuously. Having never of met her before she came to this Godforesaken hellhole of a 'town', I have never known her to be truly safe, like how she deserves. Whether its from disease ridden vampires, bitter humans or water monsters older than time itself, my little bird was always flying in (and thankfully out) of danger.

How long could she stay safe though? Especially now. Claire was Magnus' main target, more than any vampire ever was, even with- no, especially with Amelie bitten. _I'll have to do some research at a later date on how she can see Magnus,_ I muse. _However she does it, it could be of massive benefit to either side. _Wait, am I thinking of Claire as some kind of... experiment? No, thats not it, its just I want- I want- Well, I know exactly what I want.

Her.

Suddenly, an overwhelming waft of innocence, fear and bravey filled my being, and I knew who would be right around this corner, right outside of this doorway, even though it still shocked me to see her, so small and fragile and brave and loving and rumpled and _perfect_.

"Claire," I whispered, feeling insignifenct in her sudden glare. "I hear he is better." I didn't really need to elaborate, I suppose.

"No thanks to you at all!" My little bird snapped, and tried to bypass me. I couldn't let her leave, not so angry at me. Not so broken. Slipping my hand in front of her, I watched her eyes travel unwillingly to mine.

"Claire, I didn't- you must believe me, I never meant him harm, I thought..."

"You thought wrong, didn't you? You were willing to let my_ boyfriend _die out there. Now get out of my way."

"No!" I snarled, and before her heartbeat could speed up in terror, I had her pressed up against a wall, hands on either side of her face as I leant in. Oh, how I had dreamed of this- if only her attitude was different, and we were in a different location... "Not until you understand that I didn't mean to cause him any harm. You know me Claire. Do you honestly believe that I would be so petty? So pathetic?" I begged her, although I doubt she heard the desperation, her human ears would only pick up on the anger and chills radiating from the pair of us. "You've took huge and violent risks going back there, and you must understand I am a vampire, and it is not in my nature to be so... careless with my own safety for a human!"

Claire's beautiful face contorted for a moment as her mind whirled in direction in which I did not which it to, and she whispered the next line, so calm and so cold- if it hadn't have been for the pounding of her heart and the way I could almost hear it breaking with every second she was reminded of my 'betrayel', I could have mistaken her for Amelie.

"Even me?"

I stepped away from her and turned around so she wouldn't see my eyes flash red. In that moment, her stubborness and her intelligence and the way she always knew what to say to get the biggest reaction from me, made me want to take her and claim her as my own.

Lingering after the bloodlust had faded slightly (enough that I could maintain the almost human facade she allowed me to use simply by being so accepting) anger made me turn back towards Claire and almost snarl at her, although my unbeating heart faltered at the way she obviously hated me for saving her life and her sanity. I knew she 'loved' the boy- or at least, thought she did- but... she put him first like I put her first, and It hurt. Badly.

"Yes even you!" I snarled, remembering that she wished for an answer, even if it wasn't 100% true. "Stop thinking of me as a- as a personal tame tiger! I am _not_, Claire!"

"And I am not your puppet. Or your assistant. I quit."

"It wouldn't be the first time, would it?" Although, each time she'd quit had been something to do with that damned boy. "If you don't understand how I tried to cut her losses, then I have no use for you, girl. Cling to your friends and your follies. I dont have time to coddle you."

_Please dont believe me, please dont believe me, please dont believe me._

A bitter laugh erupted out of her delicate throat. She must have believed me.

"Wait? You coddle me? Are you serious? You don't coddle me, Myrnin, I coddle you. I'm the one who picks up the pieces of crazy you leave lyring around. And the least you could have done for me was go back for my _boyfriend_. But you didn't!"

"No, I didn't, because I thought there would be nothing left to save! It was a kindness," I half-roared, knowing that other humans weren't around and couldn't hear, and Vampires... well, hopefully they'd stay away. Actually, there was one human around, but I knew (no matter how badly every ounce of my being wanted to rip out his throat) that we were on the same side.

I remained few feet away from her, in case she was to become frightened, and want to run as far away. Far too late for that.

"Further more," I continued, taking advantage of her stubborn silence. "I realised why Magnus took him. You didn't."

_You should have need to. You need to know how precious you are to me- I mean, the Vampires. How dangerous you are to Magnus._

" I dont know what your on about, Myrnin. So just- just-"

"They took him because they wanted you. Magnus wants you. You might want to put some consideration into that, because I think it could be quite importent."

Her eyes took on the shine which meant she was either ill, confused or weak- admittedly, I hadn't seen her as any of those things often, but I had seen them enough to have commited them to memory. Given the circumstances, I would go with confusion.

I wanted to push up her up against the wall and kiss her, until the confusion evaporated, and explain everything- how I felt and how dangerous she was to Magnus and the Draug and her part in the second endgame she had participated in.

_How quaint. A seventeen year old has the honour and responsibilty of saving my race not once, not twice but three times. Disease, Bishop, Draug._ I almost recited the list in my mind.

I didn't do anything however, because a most unpleasant scent had appeared, smelling of desperation and draug and un-worthiness of the beautiful creature in front of me.

"Hey, I hope you to crazy kids arn't arguing over me." He 'joked', causing Claire's face to first light up in hope before it clouded in fear. Honestly, all the people she could have had, and she chooses that.

Next thing I know I'm in my lab, head clutched between my room temperature hands. I remember having a forced conversation with _that boy_, and asking Claire to come to my lab as soon as she could, as Oliver had asked for her to research a way to destroy the Draug. However, even if she came, I would have to be careful not to upset her too badly. No matter how long I shall live, no matter the 900 years behind me, I have never met another as enticing as My Claire- not even Ada.

I couldn't lose her. Even if it meant hurting her emotionally, I needed her to be safe physically.

_Myrnin, how could you?_

_**No action, but I wanted to see his POV for the argument because, you know. It's Myrnin and Im obsessed with him! Mmm, Myrnin... Heh.**_

_**Rate and review, please!**_


End file.
